fix(server): dispatch callbacks and queue events

[gijzelaerr]

Summary

• dispatch native-compatible lifecycle, client, read, and write server events
• deliver events through both callbacks and the pick_event queue
• make queue access thread-safe and isolate callback failures from the server loop
• correct the startup event code to evcServerStarted

Validation

• uv run --frozen pre-commit run --all-files
• pytest -q (1822 passed, 78 skipped)
• uv build --no-sources

Addresses #853.

[NiklasReisser]

To be honest, I don't fully understand the way pick_event is supposed to be used.
Should I busy wait in my application?
Or rather call pick_event in my callback to prevent the queue from overflowing?

[NiklasReisser]

Why the duplicated check? Wouldn't it be more important to check the local events list filed by the callback?

[NiklasReisser]

Consider using https://docs.python.org/3/library/queue.html to prevent the list from filling up too much. Also, you wouldn't need the lock.